I couldn't pretend that I wouldn't have done what she'd done, and I couldn't pretend that I was this upset about not being consulted on her decision. I felt like a mean hearted SOB for feeling the way I did, but I couldn't seem to find a way to change my feelings.After the session before last, I lost my enthusiasm for ranting at Jenny. I just couldn't muster the passion if I wasn't going to call her a slut and a whore, or something similar. Talking to a shrink has helped some, although I don't know why; I never believed in that sort of thing, certainly not that it might have any effect in just a week. Still when we went back to see Dr. Gardner after sleeping in the same bed for a week, I was beginning to think that there might be some outer limits to my anger, that I might be able to contain it. I found I was looking forward to tonight when I could say positive things to her, and I always meant those.If only - are there any sadder words? If only I could stop seeing images of her with. "Randahl, you just don't take a hint, do you? Don't you realize she's too good for you?" J the Third was trying to look menacing. Well, either that or he was seriously constipated. Personally, I was thinking option two since almost everyone outside his elite mafia knew he was full of it.I'd been feeling lousy all afternoon, my gut felt like it was on fire and having Jason hassle me wasn't helping. "Oh, I realize she's too good for me," I replied.That wasn't the response he was expecting. "Then why are you still pestering her?" Jason, you seem to think I have some choice in the matter." What are you talking about? I know Beth broke up with you, but you just won't leave her alone." Obviously the elite grapevine wasn't as good as they thought."I don't have choice because Beth chose me, not the other way around." YOU'RE LYING!" Jason screamed as he started to hit me. It wasn't anything like a coordinated attack, more like he was just going ballistic. Either way, it HURT!"What's going on.
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